Hosting of Dharma Talk ‘The Best Time to Say Goodbye’ by FGS South Island
On 31st October 2020, Fo Guang Shan (FGS) South Island held a Dharma Talk The Best Time to Say Goodby’. FGS New Zealand Abbess Venerable Manshin was invited as the guest of honor. FGS South Island Minister-in-charge Venerable Jue Xi was the main speaker with Buddha’s Light International Association (BLIA) South Island President Bernie, First subchapter President Louisa Kuo, and Second subchapter President Cao Qian being the other three panelist speakers. This was the first time FGS South Island had hosted a Dharma Talk and it attracted an audience of 75 people consisted of BLIA South Island members, FGS devotees, and local Kiwi residents, including New Zealand pianist Jamie McDermott.
The main agenda of the Talk included the followings: 1) What is a natural Death? 2) The continuity of Life after Death, 3) Palliative care, 4) Secret scroll of longevity life. At the start of the Talk, Venerable Jue Xi explained the changes that occur in the functions of the body prior to one’s death. She next followed by exploring the meaning of Death. Death happens when the physical body deteriorates to a point that it cannot function any more, and the soul has to leave the physical body. The death of this existence is just a short temporary departure. The soul that leaves the body will move around and be reborn again in another form, because the soul will not disappear but be in perpetual rebirth cycles. Why is it that some people are able to die in a peaceful manner, while others have to encounter pain and suffering at death? This is because those who suffer before dying have not understood death sufficiently, and also because they have established strong clingings to their present lives. One just has to prepare oneself early, accumulate good Karma, then one surely will be able to die a death of quality and dignity. How one will feel at the time of death, be it sad or joyful, very much depends on one’s attitude towards life. In fact it is in one’s hands. If one is kind with good thoughts, one will have a blissful and blessed death.
In the Dharma Talk, case studies were provided by Abbess Manshin, Venerable Jue Xi, President Bernie, subchapter Presidents Louisa and Cao Qian. The cases, among many, included the case of Venerable Man Chien’s late mother who had just passed away 2 weeks ago. For 25 years of her life, Venerable Man Chien’s mother had firmly upheld the BLIA Members Four Mottoes. During the last moment of her life, Venerable Man Chien’s mother was still chanting the Four Mottoes and she managed to pass away in a dignified and blessed manner. This was a classic case of someone having a clear and right mind before dying. Therefore, at the last moment of one’s life, it is important for one to be in good physical condition and to be in a Cha’n (meditative) state so as to be able to receive the lights from Amitabh Buddha. On their part, the family should provide love and care to the dying person, and help plant right thinking into him.
On the opposite side of the scenario was a case of a 108 years old man who had suffered stroke. In the beginning, the family had made preparation to allow this old man to pass his last journey in life peacefully without resorting to any medical intervention. Unfortunately, their planning was upset when the youngest daughter came back from America and insisted on her father undergoing medical operation in hospital. Because of the father’s old age, the Neurosurgeon engaged to perform the operation refused to take the risk, and declined to carry out the operation. With the tracheal intubation already performed on him, the father was unable to leave the hospital for home, and had to spend his last 11 months suffering miserably on the hospital bed.
Venerable Jue Xi advised the audience not to carry out unwarranted medical treatments on their loved ones just to prolong their lives. They may have done these out of filial piety, but their actions can only bring miseries to their loved ones. Instead, they should seize the opportunities to provide quality palliative cares to them.
At the Dharma Talk, BLIA South Island President Bernie shared the case of his mother with the audience. At the age of 70, his mother was diagnosed with 4th stage cancer. After much consideration, his mother decided not to seek painful treatment but to move from her Singapore home to New Zealand to spend her remaining time with Bernie and his family. In New Zealand, she visited FGS South Island and became acquainted with FGS South Island Minister-in-charge Venerable Jue Xi from whom she learned about the right concept of death. Meanwhile, she was also getting herself psychologically ready to face death. Upon his mother’s passing away, Bernie immediately arranged for Venerable Jue Xi and members of BLIA to carry out Sutra chanting to ensure a serene and blissful departure for her.
In her sharing session, first subchapter President Louisa recalled the special affinity between Venerable Jue Xi and her late father, Professor Kuo Yen Chiao. When Professor Kuo was 90 years old, Louisa decided to move him and her mother to Christchurch so that she would be able to take good care of them. After her parents had settled down in Christchurch, Louisa used to bring them to FGS Temple to participate in Dharma talks and other activities. At the Temple, her parents were very much at home as they were showered with love and attention by the people here. At the time of Professor Kuo’s demise, Venerable Jue Xi together with BLIA members carried out Dharma chanting to ensure a blissful and peaceful departure for him.
In her submission, second subchapter President Cao Qian quoted the case experienced by an author. The author’s father was diagnosed with cancer of the brain at the age of 43. After undergoing surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, the father’s cancer was cured. But the treatment had seriously impaired his speaking ability and had used up all the family’s money. After a lapse of 10 years, the father’s cancer recurred. This time, the doctor advised the father not to go for treatment any more, but the advice was rejected by the father. The family had to once again raise money for the father’s treatment. The father’s condition did not improve despite the treatment and had to undergo tracheal intubation finally. He was immobilised and had to suffer in the hospital bed until his death. The author said that, given another chance, he would choose not to seek treatment for the father after the relapse of his cancer, because he felt the father had not lived a dignified life before his death.
At the Dharma Talk, the audience asked many questions to which Venerable Abbess Manshin and Venerable Jue Xi readily offered answers. The audience showed much appreciation for the Talk and felt that they had indeed learnt invaluable Lessons in Life from it. The local Kiwis in the audience claimed that the Dharma Talk had made them understand that one should face death with a positive and optimistic attitude. Death is a normal phenomenon and one can choose to die a happy death without inflicting undue pain and sorrow onto one’s family.
Due to the enthusiastic response from the audience, Venerable Jue Xi had decided to hold another Meeting over Tea with the audience on 14th November 2020 to discuss more deeply into the topic of Life and Death. The proposed meeting would allow the audience to raise more questions which would, hopefully, be answered. This would be a continuation of this Dharma Talk: The Best Time to Say Goodbye.